When Qyn Spearmaker came, oh, the meal I made
And oh, the fire I built that night
For the boy this lonely old man used to be
He folded scarred hands harmlessly—
—the hands that drew me from the river,
Made me his fathers’ and his mothers’ son-
But kept his weapons all in easy reach
And watched me through the slits of half-closed eyes
I asked no questions, not at first
I’d seen his trapped ferocity a hundred times in snares
And so I let him eat in silence—
—wellcooked whitefish, all the finest berries of the day—
—until the tension bled
“That mark—” I touched my forehead, looked at his, “I’ve heard its power guards you now”
He knew then that I knew he’d killed a man
And not the instant bloodshed of the trails,
And not the needful griefs of life
A colder plan, like setting up a snare
(For meat you must not eat)
A snare, but not to stay alive
He knew then that I didn’t know him now
I missed the boy who brought his mothers’ will and fathers’ word
And put me through the ice to put their blood in me
And made Them my kin just as much as his
And joined hands with my daughter in the dawn
And taught with fire beside the rocks where all my generations learned the flame
“Cry to heaven,” he said, and handed me the spear
As long as he was tall, with gleaming well-chipped stone and weathered wood
And trail-grit pounded in the splayed rough end
As fine a one as he had ever made
“They love you, so perhaps They’ll let you kill me”
We burned a deer to Them that night
In places where my generations’ bones lie deeper than the rocks
He pushed the spear into my hands again
I heard no birdsong on the wind and told him so
“When They give silence, choose,” he said, and hid his pain beneath contempt
I laid the flint against his neck
As mercy for the scared prey in the snare
And nothing
I thought They kept me from the act
Or muddled, half-blind conscience froze my hand
But now I know I only wanted to believe
That I could go that far and be that strong
To help a friend
By night, Jonathan Olfert writes fantasy and science fiction. You can find his work at jonathanolfert.